Hope your Ramadan has been going well and that you are ready for Hari Raya! I haven’t been posting for the past few weeks because my nights have been busy. By the time I actually have time to myself it’s at least 10.30pm and I get sleepy by 10.45 if I’m not going for round 2 😛
I finally have some time so some quick wedding updates because quite a bit has happened this month. I really didn’t expect any progress and was planning to go full steam ahead post-Ramadan but I have no idea what has gotten into the mat (not that I’m complaining). He’s been on the ball and I feel kind of guilty because I’ve been so busy at work that I can’t contribute as much as he has been lately.
Suddenly, a photographer
The first shocker was during the first week of Ramadan when he told me that he wasn’t sure if we should be using his friend as our photographer. I was quite surprised because he was so sure about it since we went ring shopping. His friend takes really nice photos and was offering to do it as a wedding present – that’s a pretty good thing, right? So why are we letting go of the good thing?
Turns out he’s concerned that said friend was going to take an eternity to edit the photos and that we would only get the pictures a year later. So he could still take nice photos at our wedding, that’s no problem at all, but the mat felt that it was safer to get an official photographer. And considering that the mat wants to save every single cent he possibly can for the honeymoon instead of spending it on the wedding, I have deemed this a legitimate concern.
However, due to truly terrible time constraints this month, I’ve only managed to drop an email to one photographer asking for their rates – and unfortunately they were not available on our wedding date. This has led me to being mad paranoid that every good photographer isn’t going to be available but I am also a naturally pessimistic human being so I’m hoping to the heavens that we can find someone.
Money, money, money
Then the second week of Ramadan we started discussing outstanding items and how much more are we going to have to spend on things outside of the package we currently have with The Landmark. Turns out it is quite the list. At the top of my head, I know we gotta get:
1) Photographer + videographer (my mom wants a wedding video. Let the lady have it she only has one daughter)
2) Top-up desserts – The Landmark is only giving some kuih talam, if we want anything else we’ll have to bring it in ourselves
3) Pre-marriage course
4) Tok kadi
5) Wedding rings
And we have to follow up for the:
1) Bridal – do we really want Fatimah Mohsin? Still on the fence cause I’m flip flopping like roti prata. And apparently the mat didn’t think that he was going to get his clothes from them I’m done
2) Decor – got to contact vendor
3) Berkat – got to contact vendor
4) Invites – probably the most urgent one right now since that’s got to be ready by December
I also have to introduce the mat to Spotify. He’s still stuck in the “do a mix tape” era bless his heart.
Doing rough calculation it accumulated to a total of $30k, which is a ridiculous sum that makes me wish we just didn’t give a shit about society and just got married by the beach and gave everyone thank you popcorn for coming. Or maybe thank you Indomee. I really like Indomee.
A legit WTF moment
So after that discussion, the mat chased for the berkat list. We were supposed to get a list of the different berkat The Landmark was offering so we could decide what we were going to take, if we have to top up if necessary, but we haven’t heard anything since March when I asked for more details of the vendors.
The first round he got a company name and a contact person but no list. There was supposed to be a catalogue but there there was nothing in the email, so he chased again. In the meantime I took a look at the company’s website and… I gotta say. I didn’t have high hopes. I was kind of like “…really?” Whatever I saw looked very generic and (dare I say it?) cheap. But I was like never mind, maybe the catalogue would have other things, we can’t assume, blah blah blah.
Then the catalogue arrived.
I have never been so underwhelmed and so unimpressed.
I thought whatever I saw on the company’s website was cheap, but almost everything in the catalogue made the products on the website seem acceptable. You know what, I’m going to say it – I was upset. I was upset that I had waited five damn months to receive a catalogue full of wedding favors that I would never give because if I received them as a guest I would be pissed. I’ve received better berkats in 1999. If I knew that this was what they were offering, I would have just went searching for berkat straight away I wouldn’t have bothered.
To quote my mother, “Nak kasi tapi tak sincere”.
I couldn’t accept any of that so I told the mat that I wasn’t impressed by any of that, and he wasn’t that hyped about it either but he felt that if we didn’t take something it was going to be a waste because it wasn’t going to be replaced with anything else (this was added into the expo package, they made it clear that if we didn’t take the berkat there would be no replacement). Which I understood but nothing was looking good.
He then asked the vendor what else they had and the vendor said that we could choose something from the website for “a small top-up”. And so my mom and I went through the website trying to find something, and finally we all settled on these salt and pepper shakers that were kind of cute (they were like peas in a pod, and I thought at least this represented us: he loves peas, I love stupid puns/idioms(??) like this). Of course, I knew I had to see this with my own two eyes before agreeing because if it was shit quality I wasn’t going to spend my coin on something that I’m settling on.
The next day he told the vendor we were keen on that and how much did we have to top up?
$1.60 per piece. One. Sixty.
That’s not “a small top-up”. My cousin’s berkat is cheaper than that and she’s getting something she actually likes. I told him I didn’t agree to that price and thank god he agreed that it was ridiculous so we’re now looking at other things. He found Pocky that cost $0.85 but my mom thinks Pocky is a little juvenile for adults so the next time I meet him I’m going to have to break that news to him. And that she keeps mentioning tea so let’s just get that and get over it.
I was intending to contact the vendor for the invitations so that I had something to update the makciks during Raya (I am 100% not looking forward to the upcoming interrogation), but again no time this week, so I guess I gotta just say “Oh we’re doing it soon!” and that’s it.
And that’s what’s been happening for the past month! I guess compared to other BTBs this is not even much drama but considering how our wedding prep has been stagnant for a while this is a lot. And there’s more to come when we start meeting vendors after Raya, when we sit down with his brother who’s our unofficial wedding planner, and when I bring my bridesmaids into the fray. I don’t know if I’m excited or dreading this. Maybe a little of both.