A moment of ‘no srsly like srsly’

*this is a full on rant. please do not read if you do not like rants. thank you.*

Idk if this is common amongst BTBs…. but at some point do you think to yourself “why on earth am I spending so much money on one day?”

Last week I added a little of a financial burden to myself by agreeing to sign up for a flexible savings plan with my bank. But I am sure that, inshallah, it will be better for me in the future when I finally get all that cash that I threw into the plan. If we have kids, they can use the money. If it is not our rezeki to have children, we can use the money (by then I guess we will use it for Haji and maybe top up our Medishield lol).

So today as I calculate my salary… I realise that I might have to dip into my existing savings to fund that savings plan for the time being. I suppose on my part I should have did the proper calculations before agreeing to the plan but I kept thinking “If I didn’t have to throw all that money into the wedding fund I wouldn’t have this problem.”

And since I had a hell of a weekend with my aunties and my mother blasting me for not knowing how to deal with my mak andam because “3 months is too late to pick the outfits!!!!” (fun fact! That is the norm these days) I am starting to wonder if it is worth forking out so much money for an event where everyone will have something to say. Already I have relatives commenting about the location, the vendor’s catering, instructing my parents what berkat to give… I’m not sure why everyone decided to be particularly bitter about my options since no one breathed a word of disagreement about the last cousin who got married and there isn’t much of a fuss about the next cousin who is getting married after me.

I gotta say I understand now why my colleague told me that he’d never go through the process of planning a wedding again. I went into this journey excited to plan our wedding and choose the things that we want and we like at our own pace. But it seems like everyone is focusing on all the things that are “incorrect” and demanding information that I am not able/prepared to give and planning something that is supposed to be a joyous occasion has become tiresome and frankly pretty damn tedious.

This has become such a negative post but the temptation to cancel everything and just have a nice dinner with our parents, our siblings, my nenek and our friends who actually make us happy is REAL.


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