The List and the listless

I think almost every Malay bride has had the problem of who to invite. Not friends, no, although those can be pretty tricky as well, but family. Parents’ cousins, grandparents’ cousins, aunty’s sister’s cousin twice removed…eventually you will be sitting at the pelamin smiling at some people that you do not recognize at all. That is the Malay circle of life, generations have faced this issue.

At the back of my mind I always knew I was going to have to face this. My father has 9 siblings and countless cousins. My mother grew up with 10 aunties and uncles around her age. There was no way I could have that 300 pax wedding for The Colonial on Scotts unless I didn’t invite a ton of people and risked facing their wrath during Hari Raya. You might say “Eh don’t care what people say just do what you want!”. That’s not how life works. Also, I’m too lazy to deal with future shade just because some makcik didn’t get an invite.

When the mat came to meminang his side said that they were inviting 100 pax, which made my side the annoying side that couldn’t get any finalized numbers. After procrastinating for a month or so (the mat and I began checking out venues in December after he suddenly decided to call a whole bunch of places and arranged for us to view them. Yes, you heard it here – the groom began the wedding prep. In my defence I was waiting for 2017 which was only one month away) my parents realised they had to get a finalized number so that we could book the venue we wanted.

So yesterday we went to the paternal grandma’s house to calculate the number together with a few other relatives, and today my parents went to my maternal grandma’s house.

All this while I had prepared myself for 700-800 pax since that was what my parents had kept telling me. But lo and behold: the final number, including the mat’s side, was a little under 550.

Of course this was #news because 1) I’m saving that dolla dolla by not taking a 1000 pax package 2) I might just recognize 90% of the people who are attending what kind of miracle??

And now the only one left who hasn’t firmed up who they want to invite…is me. The biggest procrastinator continues to be the bride. Don’t get me wrong, I have an idea of who I’m definitely inviting, but there are those friends who used to be the ones I hung out with all the damn time and now we don’t even like each other’s photos on Instagram. If I don’t invite them our mutual friends will ask me why I didn’t invite them. But then if I do invite them it’s a bit like errrrr we haven’t talked in years why are you inviting me? Also do I really want them to be at my wedding? This is such a first-world problem.

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